THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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