Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
