Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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