I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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