with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
