I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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