Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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