Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize