Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
