so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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