Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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