If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
