I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That accounts for only three of the penises
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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