Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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