i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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