Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Drunk is a universal language darling
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
