Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
