he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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