dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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