"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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