I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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