He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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