Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today

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(850): View more from Florida

You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.

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(804): View more from Virginia

also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?

(917): View more from New York City

There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now

(865): View more from Tennessee

....ill put you down as a no then

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