Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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