I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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