so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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