dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
