Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
