i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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