just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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