That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
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I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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