She's JV to your varsity
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
