Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
