The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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