Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
