i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
