This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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