hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
