I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
