Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (840)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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  (309): I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before. http://tfl.nu/3qsf
  Replies (8) Good night (514) Bad night (1222)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses

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  (216): you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses http://tfl.nu/p89j
  Replies (20) Good night (2585) Bad night (532)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she kept yelling 'call me bella'

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  (306): she kept yelling 'call me bella' http://tfl.nu/4ude
  Replies (54) Good night (840) Bad night (5279)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Vomiting outside the employee entrance

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  (217): Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me? (1-217): Vomiting outside the employee entrance http://tfl.nu/gco9
  Replies (15) Good night (7143) Bad night (1538)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.

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  (817): It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart. http://tfl.nu/sgc5
  Replies (19) Good night (2333) Bad night (905)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.

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  (937): I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding. http://tfl.nu/schb
  Replies (5) Good night (2240) Bad night (767)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2460) Bad night (503)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night

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  (719): Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night http://tfl.nu/la5y
  Replies (6) Good night (1376) Bad night (510)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.

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  (701): I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/5jp7
  Replies (2) Good night (1226) Bad night (413)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  By a pack of ravenous dildos

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  (615): Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right? (1-615): By a pack of ravenous dildos http://tfl.nu/hx21
  Replies (3) Good night (2001) Bad night (424)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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  (303): Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected. http://tfl.nu/v8lk
  Replies (4) Good night (832) Bad night (895)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.

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  (386): The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband. http://tfl.nu/86hq
  Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (637)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP

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  (724): umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP http://tfl.nu/bluu
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (631)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.

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  (850): I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again. http://tfl.nu/tqvr
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (175)

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