i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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