Texts From Last Night

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  (830): View more from Texas

  I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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  (830): I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk. http://tfl.nu/s9wt
  Replies (33) Good night (999) Bad night (526)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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  (724): He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him. http://tfl.nu/jd1k
  Replies (23) Good night (3296) Bad night (829)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (12622) Bad night (1640)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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  (970): The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero http://tfl.nu/ssyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5526) Bad night (667)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (5128) Bad night (6465)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

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  (309): I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pxkc
  Replies (14) Good night (3599) Bad night (1244)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...

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  (217): I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting... http://tfl.nu/eihm
  Replies (11) Good night (2521) Bad night (882)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.

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  (618): I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera. http://tfl.nu/5ed2
  Replies (4) Good night (2471) Bad night (702)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"

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  (303): Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional. (970): Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?" http://tfl.nu/doci
  Replies (8) Good night (3521) Bad night (862)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them

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  (214): then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them http://tfl.nu/nuwa
  Replies (8) Good night (1603) Bad night (713)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.

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  (608): I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos. http://tfl.nu/skqb
  Replies (1) Good night (1427) Bad night (590)
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  (949): View more from California

  July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31

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  (949): July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31 http://tfl.nu/jg6w
  Replies (9) Good night (2122) Bad night (466)
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  (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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  (530): Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them. http://tfl.nu/oho5
  Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (362)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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  (+44): Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club http://tfl.nu/ri4h
  Replies (6) Good night (776) Bad night (331)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.

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  (717): Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about. http://tfl.nu/g2cn
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (307)

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