FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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