Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Old men and throwing up are my life now.

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  (504): Old men and throwing up are my life now. http://tfl.nu/h5tg
  Replies (10) Good night (695) Bad night (2351)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  can u grab me a application

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  (973): i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers (1-973): can u grab me a application http://tfl.nu/7bd4
  Replies (11) Good night (2804) Bad night (476)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
  Replies (10) Good night (631) Bad night (3452)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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  (401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb
  Replies (12) Good night (8218) Bad night (1213)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.

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  (409): Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test. http://tfl.nu/4vmp
  Replies (25) Good night (1396) Bad night (4781)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?

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  (256): Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it? http://tfl.nu/m23f
  Replies (31) Good night (5867) Bad night (667)
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  (562): View more from California

  We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

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  (562): We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went. http://tfl.nu/2aw8
  Replies (25) Good night (5412) Bad night (1306)
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  (818): View more from California

  he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror

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  (818): he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror http://tfl.nu/1dr8
  Replies (14) Good night (6267) Bad night (1760)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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  (513): im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped. http://tfl.nu/kvpg
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (3059)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3255) Bad night (1174)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.

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  (214): There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/17ls
  Replies (7) Good night (1679) Bad night (857)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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  (612): I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/y0ry
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (343)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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  (660): I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won.. http://tfl.nu/18ev
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (408)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker

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  (651): Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker http://tfl.nu/s38c
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (369)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

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  (512): you are like the bill nye of illicit activities http://tfl.nu/fr89
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (312)

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