Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
