Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
