HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
