I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
