I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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