i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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