I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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