Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
