Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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