there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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