i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
