In America we eat man semen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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