Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i now understand why vodka
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
