i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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