does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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