just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
