It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Holy shit dude........stairs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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