After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize