I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
