It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
