she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
