If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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